If Only: Dialogue as Collapse

This is the fourth and final chapter in the story of Daniel and Theo. Here, dialogue stands bare, holding both what is spoken and what must be left suppressed. Time slips through these exchanges, and meaning is free to trace its own form in the spaces between.

For context and a sense of closure, it's best to begin with Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Your hands still…

Still?

Shake.

You’re repeating yourself.

I meant when you’re close.

You still talk too much. After.

Only with you.

Still.

You used to like it.

I can’t help what I like.

You ever see her?

Who?

Theo, come on.

No.

Why?

It’s a long road back.

What’s stopping you?

We were kids. Seventeen.

You’re not a kid anymore.

Eight years, Danny.

But you’re her father.

She’s fine.

She’s got a dad.

Teaches her chess. Holds her hand in pictures.

But she’s—

Better off.

I’m good with being a check.

They asked you for money?

I offered. Some debts just stay.

She didn’t want to tell you.

I know.

You said it was her husband’s idea. Said you had the right to know.

What’s your point?

You always do this.

What do you want me to do, Danny? Drive out there?

You’ve had two years to figure that out.

And what would that change?

I can’t be the kind of man who keeps leaving.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Danny—

Don’t.

You had a kid.

While you were still screwing me in the dirt.

I didn’t know.

You shouldn’t have—

—Should’ve known better than to keep taking that night.

The fuck am I left with now?

If only I'd waited a bit longer…reached for it sooner…

But I didn’t think you’d follow.

Still can’t believe it.

One minute, we were in the lake, and I couldn’t...breathe.

You against me.

And then—

—And last night—

Yeah, no.

Then why’d you hold on like that?

You should’ve tried. Two years.

I thought—

Yeah, I know what you thought. That silence can't break the mind.

I told you, she’s fine.

The world would be better off if people realized they’re not half as important as they think.

And I did try. I went after what mattered.

Even when you—

What?

All those scars, Danny.

Yeah, well. I didn’t know how to look at you.

And now?

You were right.

Hmmm?

It really is easy to leave proof you were here.

Oh, Danny.

Please don’t. I didn't mean—

I’d scrub the bone clean, if I could.

What?

Erase it.

You mean that night?

I mean her.

No, you don’t.

Yeah, I really fucking do.

Did you hear about the quarry?

What about it?

They flooded it. Turned it into a lake.

Ducks nest there now.

We could go. If you want.

What for?

To see if it’s deep enough.

You think that would fix anything?

No.

But it might quiet it all down.

And I like how honest your body is in water.

So, noon?